I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
