new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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