Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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