Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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