I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
