went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
