How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
