Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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