Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
