I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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