Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
