i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
