Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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