I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
