So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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