Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
