I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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