Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize