you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
