May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
