I faked an abortion last night.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
