Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
pray to the hookup gods
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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