So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
