When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
