I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize