I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she pinky promised me she was 18
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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