she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
