Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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