Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
