Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
