we'll go far in life on tits alone.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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