So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
