Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
