Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
