i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
