woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
