It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
