how can u be prego again
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
