yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
