And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
