His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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