Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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