dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
