HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
