does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
