Only a mothe r could love this liver
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You ruined the universe
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
