:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
