she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
