Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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