Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
