Yo dont text me then not text me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
