Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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