I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
